I am a very frustrated suicidal person with Borderline Personality Disorder. I fluctuate between my desires to live and to die; fortunately or unfortunately I am still here. I try to carry on using the tricks that I have discovered help me have a better life by trial and error.
I like writing to unravel my thoughts. Projects that include writing fill me with joy, like this blog. So, I hope to build a bridge with our words.
My name is Mariana. I am on my early 30’s and live in Mexico City with my dog Pablo who is one of my biggest sources of calmness, balance and love.
After almost 20 years of visiting several kinds of specialists, being diagnosed with several different conditions, being through a wide range of treatments and knowing something about me was clearly different, I was finally told I had Borderline Personality Disorder 3 years ago. I was also diagnosed with a specific kind of epilepsy and fibromyalgia. Living with a mental illness is often deeply misunderstood, definitely challenging but it can also be inspiring. Surfing through days with BDP is not always bad, believe it or not it can be exciting too.
I feel deeply committed to bringing this topic to the table as much of the information about this disorder only seems to strengthen stigma around us, it is important to share positive content, not all about BPD is darkness and there are many amazing stories to be shared. I feel profoundly interested in accompanying my pairs in what can be a confusing, scary and painful journey so we can walk together . As soon as I started digging on this topic I realized there are many of us.
This is why along with a couple of my best friends, two amazing and inspiring women I met because they also have BPD, we decided to create this blog as an honest effort to take our part in making this a more inclusive world. I can happily say I am proud of my BPD, it is a superpower! And would like to say much more, so I invite you to take a look at our-your borderline project instead.
In case you wonder, I am the one that writes the word fucking A LOT.
Born in Mexico City, animal lover, writer and art lover. Diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at age 25. It was during my drug addiction recovery that specialists (after a lot of misleading diagnosis) diagnosed me with BPD, which also helped them, my family and me approach and understand all the collateral problems I was experiencing.
After my recovery (it wasn’t easy, I went through many failed attempts to get better), I focused all my energy in learning more about my condition so I could help other people in this difficult journey, living with BPD. I studied Human Development and Psychotherapy in order to fully understand and prepare myself to help others. I also wrote a book about the hell I went through… and I got published! (¨El Infierno de Ana¨). Writing a book was like opening Pandora’s Box and it wasn’t always easy, trust me, but I did it! I shared my story! And most importantly, it was sort of a healing process, some kind of catharsis that helped me have a closure and finally, forgive myself and move on.
Meeting Mariana was one of the biggest gifts I could’ve asked for and since the first time we talked, we said ¨Someday… we are going to make something BIG, we are going to bring BPD to the table once and for all and we are going to help people like us¨. So, yes, this blog is our first step. We also found Lili, the cherry on top of this project. Together, we want to share real, accurate, helpful information, starting with our own experiences, trying to explain BPD in the most honest possible way, including tools and tips, as well as expert opinions.
It does get better, you know? I used to despise this phrase until… I, indeed, got better. I won’t lie to you, this battle never stops. I’m still fighting every day, but I feel ready to help others fight their battles and maybe make it a bit easier for them. We are not alone, YOU are not alone. Living with BPD is no easy task, but, trust me, you can live a wonderful life. Let’s make the best of it, okay?
Last but not least, we would like to thank the support from our friend Andy. His help has been vital to make this space come alive. Thanks, kiddo!